Mind Games

Tricky thing, the mind. Especially the place where it stores your memories. Often times the things we most want to forget are the easiest to remember. And those wonderful moments we long to cherish forever are oft removed before the memory is even fully made.

I keep asking myself, 'How do I hold on to the things I want to remember? And how do I let go of those things I'd rather not reflect on?' But no answer has come.

When will it rain? When will this desert of emotionless wandering be drenched in the cool downpour of feeling? I am not afraid to feel. I remember what it has been like before; to feel everything and wish to die to be relieved of the overwhelimg tourtment of everything all at once. I am no longer wary of knowing my emotions; living in their ebb and flow, the ever-changing way of things.

I am so tired of being numb. The things that used to move me have become mundane and meaningless. I have no joy, no peace, no love for the things that used to be my lifesource. Am I pushing too hard? Am I trying too much to feel?

Overwhelming odds to fight

Pushing pulling

No one's here to run you down

Anymore

I find out you can't stay

I never knew I would feel this way

Again

I tired to learn the hard way

But found it easier than I should

Cause I've been here too many times

I should have known

I should have never thought

You

Would be different

Everything's the same

When you came

I thought I'd found

Someone to listen

Someone to be mine

But all you did was take my heart and

Push me aside

I tried to learn the hard way

But found it easier than I should

Cause I've been here

Oh, so many times, too many times

Would you hold my hand, my love

I can't see him anymore

I'd rather take this knife out

Don't let me go away again

Let's just leave the bullet in

My heart can't take the waiting

Games

He plays

I run away again

Oh, please hold my hand

Hold my heart

Hold me close

I cannot feel you anymore

I know you're there

I can see you looking down at me

Whispering something sweet

But my ears only hear the voice from then

And you wonder when

I'll be back