Everyone has their breaking point. If you push hard enough, you will find it. I have been crushed. Crumbled to pieces and I didn't even know it. For a while. But then when I tried to look at you, I couldn't even smile. That's when I knew. That's when I felt the last piece fall to the floor. I tried to stand strong, I really did. But everyone has their breaking point.
I am so tired, oh so very tired. And I am hoping that I'm not depressed. I can feel that I may be, but I don't want to be. There is so much hope, so much love that has surrounded me, yet I feel so sad. What am I sad about? Have I been remembering too much recently? It doesn't hurt like it used to, so why am I feeling so much? Not everything is a negative emotion (even some "negative" emotions are good when used properly). Elation, joy, love, and compassion have all been frequently felt. However they are often coupled with fear, anger, shame, and apprehension. Am I unconcsiously defending myself from an imagined enemy? Am I reliving the emotions of the past-but these are not the same-because I am working more towards recounting them? I feel sad and happy at the same time. My brain does not know what to do, I keep having small flashes of me falling. Am I afraid I will lose myself again?
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