As I am sitting at my desk typing this, it's raining outside. The washing machine is spinning with a load of clothes and the wonders of satellite are bringing beautiful praise and worship music into my living room. I am reflecting on how different my life has become in the last six to eight months. Mark and I have moved to another city for his new job, which he is doing marvelous at. I have no job, nothing steady yet anyway, but I am also going to start school this month to get my Associates in Accounting. It feels like so much of a high compared to where we were.
Six months ago I felt like I was losing everything. I lost my job, then I lost the baby. Mark was getting nowhere with his job search and I was learning how I grieve all over again.
It always amazes me how things seem in hindsight. No matter how bad things are, once you get through them (and you always do) it never seems as bad as you thought it was. Most of the time I have found that the bad is a blessing in disguise. Character is built and perserverence is strengthened. I got to see myself as I really was and I needed some work. And God's been working on me! I believe that we are never finished being molded and shaped by God, and this has been one of the most difficult yet rewarding times in my life. I have never been very good at keeping up relationships with people, and moving an hour away from most of the people I considered good friends has not helped the situation. But it has taught me to be less dependent on other people and more dependent on God as my sustainer. It has also taught me to be more open to new friends and value the relationships I have.
I am looking forward to seeing what the next six months has in store.
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